February 06, 2007
Wearing diapers on the way to commit a murder is going too far
It's bad enough that a astronaut responsible for the safety of a bazillion dollar space ship hops in the car to go and confront (and possibly murder) the other woman vying for the affections of a man's she had staked out as her property. That happens every day. But you have to be just plain crazy to wear diapers while traveling just to avoid potty stops.
In a search of Nowak's car, police later found diapers that Nowak told them she wore so she wouldn't have to stop to urinate during her drive from Houston. Astronauts wear diapers during shuttle launches and landings.Is this really what we get after billions spent training and screening these people who are supposed to be our best and brightest, love forlorn astronauts that intentionally wet their pants on the way to committing a possible murder? It makes OJ look sane by comparison.
Posted by Sid at 06:09 PM | Comments (1111) | Too Crazy to be Made Up | TrackBack
January 16, 2007
Burqa plus bikini equals burqini
If only Baywatch was still the hot show it used to be. Imagine Pamela Anderson dressed up in one of these hot little numbers.
Posted by Sid at 06:23 PM | Comments (188) | Too Crazy to be Made Up | TrackBack
December 20, 2006
Eco-sexual
Just when you though the metro-sexual was as absurd as it could get, we now introduce you to the eco-sexual.
Good looks, a sense of humour, education and high income count for zilch these days if you don't eat organic, wear organic and recycle.Beware though as eco-sexual attraction can be just as deadly as it is titillating.
Meanwhile, a colleague told me last week of a friend who broke up with her boyfriend when she discovered he didn't recycle his newspapers. She felt she couldn't continue to see a man who didn't realise we all have a responsibility to the environment.I suppose we now live in an age where love is such a passé concept it gets trumped by recycling your newspapers.
Posted by Sid at 06:29 AM | Comments (286) | Too Crazy to be Made Up | TrackBack
December 06, 2006
A retarded person can get a drivers license?
I understand that fraud may be involved where a person faking retardation can get governments benefits. But a drivers license?
For nearly 20 years -- ever since Pete Costello was 8 -- his mother has collected disability benefits on his behalf. In meetings with Social Security officials and psychologists, he appeared mentally retarded and unable to communicate. His mother insisted he couldn't read or write, shower, take care of himself or drive a car. Another classic government example of the left hand not knowing what the right hand is doing.It just never dawned on me that a person documented as being mentally handicapped by the government could then go apply for and get a drivers license.But now prosecutors said it was all a huge fraud, and they have video of Costello contesting a traffic ticket to prove it.
Posted by Sid at 05:31 AM | Comments (1755) | Too Crazy to be Made Up | TrackBack
December 05, 2006
Backwards thinking
Nancy Pelosi, the master of backward thinking comes up with this gem of a plan.
"We predicated some of the conversation in a letter that Senator Reid, myself and others in the leadership sent to the President on October 20. At that time, we reiterated our concern that ‘stay the course’ was not a strategy, but a slogan. We urged the President to work with us in a bipartisan way and we presented four changes to current policy: first, redeployment and transition of our troops out of Iraq; second, disarm the militia; third, have an international conference to discuss with the countries in the region the stability and reconstruction of the region, especially Iraq; and fourth, to amend the constitution to relieve some of the civil strife and to spread some of the political advantages that the elections there promised.If you pull your troops out first how exactly do you disarm the militias as your second course of action? Shouldn’t there be an international conference (the third step) before you do anything at all? What has amending the Iraqi constitution got to do anything other then as a token reference to paper pushing in place of real action?
"We have not heard back from the President on that. We still extend the hand of friendship to him in a bipartisan way to make our country safer, to make the region more stable, and to strengthen our military."Based on the reverse numbering system used by little nancy I can only assume this already happened....Not.
Nancy needs more then spelling and grammer check. She needs logic checking too.
Posted by Sid at 06:09 PM | Comments (864) | Too Crazy to be Made Up | TrackBack
October 24, 2006
I turned around and the dog was on fire
If you live in a household like mine where there are several pets, none of which are mine, you are constantly on the lookout for perfectly innocent ways to make them go away.
SHOCKED Gary Davies saw his dog erupt in flames — after it peed on a live power cable.While it generates a spectacular series of events I guess I must scratch electrocution off my list. It has a dubious record for creating a fatality and could result in excessive vet bills.Bailey the Staffordshire bull terrier also cut power to 148 homes by cocking a leg against a faulty pylon.
Posted by Sid at 05:15 AM | Comments (272) | Too Crazy to be Made Up | TrackBack
September 28, 2006
Boys required to sit while urinating, poor aim cited
I am sure women around the world rise up in a chorus or "Amen" as they strike back for equality but I think it's just plain envy.
Boys told no standing to urinateI want to know how they plan to police it. Will there be pee-pee police placed in the room with any prospective room occupants? Is this another example of the feminization of young men? Are they trying to insure equality of outcome by making sure males take as long to urinate as women?
'It is a human right not to have to sit down like a girl'
I have will have to concede though that it might be a good idea to institute a licensing system for standing urination. From my experience some males could not hit the ground if they were trying in an open parking lot.
Posted by Sid at 05:40 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
August 21, 2006
Osama bin Laden and Whitney Houston sitting in a tree
I think everyone has that special pop icon they have a soft spot for but as a rule you don't expect that from Islamic terrorists. Is it possible Osama bin Laden actually had the hots for Whitney Houston?
OSAMA bin Laden has more on his mind than just the destruction of the United States - the world's most wanted terrorist is obsessed with Whitney Houston, so much so that he's even mulled a hit on her hubby, Bobby Brown.The more I hear about Islam the more I begin to think it is not a faith based on how one should live their own life but rather about how the other guy should live his once they figure out who that other guy is supposed to be.
Kola Boof, 37, the Sudanese poet and novelist who claims to have once been bin Laden's sex slave, writes in her autobiography, "Diary of a Lost Girl," which is excerpted in the September Harper's: "He told me Whitney Houston was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen."
"In his briefcase, I would come across photographs of the Star [magazine], as well as copies of Playboy. It would soon come to the point where I was sick of hearing Whitney Houston's name," Boof writes.I am sure Osama reads it only for the articles.
Posted by Sid at 06:19 PM | Comments (1) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
August 12, 2006
Mother hires hit-man to kill daughter-in-law
Talk about the mother-in-law from hell.
BRAZILIAN police have arrested a 52-year-old woman accused of hiring a hitman who kidnapped and killed her daughter-in-law on the outskirts of Rio de Janeiro.
Posted by Sid at 01:55 PM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
August 06, 2006
No pet left behind
We saw the pictures of the nutters refusing to get onto rescue vehicles during the Katrina evacuation, people willing to accept possible death in order to remain with their pets. Well it seems these crazies have a voice.
The Senate bill gives the Federal Emergency Management Agency authority to help develop the plans, and authorizes financial help to states to create emergency shelters for people with animals.In an effort to insure lunatics will not have to leave behind their pets, federal money which should be used for human hurricane victims will be diverted to care for animals. Precious time needed to focus on human rescue will be spent on animals. Precious space for refugees will be reserved for pets.Thousands of people refused to evacuate because they did not want to abandon their pets when Hurricane Katrina struck the Gulf Coast last year, and thousands of pets were left behind.
It will be a curious moment during the next disaster when someone reports they were not rescued but that they saw the neighbors cat fluffy being hoisted into a helicopter by a USCG rescuer. Or we see a split screen report of well fed pets up against starving and thirsty children packed into an overcrowded refugee center.
Posted by Sid at 02:33 PM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
August 04, 2006
Man sues government over cliff fall while urinating
Further proof man is not an intelligent species.
An Oregon outdoors enthusiast is suing the federal government for not posting a danger warning next to a cliff in the Mount Hood National Forest.And to top it off he is handleing it in what is sadly becoming the new American way.
Twenty-three-year-old Jerry Mersersau says he suffered mental anguish after trekking out in the dark to relieve himself and falling off a cliff in the national forest.
According to his lawsuit, Mersersau, who was not carrying a flashlight, fell about 20 to 30 feet onto a creek bed.
Mersersau charges that the government should have known that the cliff posed a danger to campers.
Posted by Sid at 05:39 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
July 06, 2006
$200,000 in court damages sought over ugly bride
You just know the heads of feminists everywhere are exploding.
But the father of the groom-to-be, Vijai B. Pandey, 60, filed suit after family members saw the selected bride in New Delhi last August. The Pandeys, according to the lawsuit, were "extremely shocked to find ... she was ugly ... with protruded bad teeth, and couldn't speak English to hold a conversation." The woman's complexion also was cited.I can see it now. The priest say "If anyone knows a reason why this couple should not wed, speak now or forever hold your peace." Father of the groom stands up and says "I object on grounds the bride is ugly and I am suing for $200,000 in damages.The civil suit against Lallan and wife Kanti Giri of Boyds, Md., seeks $200,000 in damages. The charges include fraud, conspiracy and violation of civil rights resulting in emotional distress, the Massachusetts paper reported.
Now that’s calling someone ugly.
Posted by Sid at 12:47 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
June 26, 2006
British army goat demoted
You had me when I realized your goats had military rank.
The military mascot, a six-year-old male goat called Billy, was downgraded from the rank of lance-corporal to fusilier - the same status as a private - after army chiefs ruled his poor display ruined the ceremony June 16 at a British army base in Episkopi, western Cyprus.Is refusing to salute a superior goat a court-marshal offense?
Posted by Sid at 12:25 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
June 15, 2006
Father files lawsuit over childs penis
You have to believe this is not an amicable divorce to begin with.
The child's mother wants him circumcised to prevent recurring, painful inflammation she says he's experienced during the past year. But the father says the boy is healthy and circumcision, which removes the foreskin of the penis, is an unnecessary medical procedure that could cause him long-term physical and psychological harm.I am guessing the father still has his foreskin. We can obviously see how it has helped him avoid psychological harm."The child is absolutely healthy," the father said during a break in a court hearing on the matter Wednesday. "I do not want any doctor to butcher my son."
Posted by Sid at 12:42 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
May 25, 2006
Sexual child predator too short for prison
I just don't understand this stuff. Am I missing something?
A judge said a 5-foot-1 man convicted of sexually assaulting a child was too small to survive in prison, and gave him 10 years of probation instead.I don't know how old this judge is but I have to wonder if her decision would be different if this sick pervert assured her he would be moving in next door to someone in her family who had kids. For my part, his survival in prison is an issue he should have considered before sexually assaulting a child.His crimes deserved a long sentence, District Judge Kristine Cecava said, but she worried that Richard W. Thompson, 50, would be especially imperiled by prison dangers.
Ever wonder if prison sentences would be a lot tougher if judges had to set aside property next door to their own homes to build halfway houses for those they place on probation?
Posted by Sid at 06:35 PM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
May 09, 2006
Democrats endorse representative for re-election while he's in rehab
It takes a real pity party to endorse an admitted drug addict for the US House of Representatives while he is in rehab.
Rhode Island Democrats are expected to endorse Representative Patrick Kennedy for re-election when they meet tonight in West Warwick.The real question is, will he still be electable when he kills someone under the influence as his father did. In the last year Patrick has had two auto accidents and been in rehab twice. The only reason he has not managed to injure or kill someone is just dumb luck.
When asked about it those interviewed in Rhode Island expressed the opinion that it was a "personal problem". I hope they don’t end up in a crosswalk as this guy is passing by with his personal problem or it may just become their personal problem.
Posted by Sid at 12:52 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
April 20, 2006
The importance of not facing Mecca while using the crapper
Holy crap. Excuse the pun.
British authorities are spending taxpayers’ money to rebuild prison toilets so Muslim inmates don’t have to face Mecca while using them.I wonder, does this also apply to farting?The Islamic religion prohibits Muslims from facing or turning their backs on the Kiblah — the direction of prayer — when they use the toilet, according to the Sun newspaper in London. Muslim inmates complain that they have to sit sideways on prison toilets to comply with that prohibition.
Posted by Sid at 12:33 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
April 16, 2006
Could fairy penguins become extinct?
Extinct to political correctness that is.
THEME park bosses have re-named their colony of fairy penguins amid fears they could upset the gay community.Look out tooth fairy, they will be coming for you next.Managers at Sea World, on the Gold Coast, are now calling the species "little penguins" in case associations with the word "fairy" offend visitors to the park.
"We didn't have any complaints about the name of the penguins, but someone thought they could be seen as offensive so we decided to change it to little penguin instead," a Sea World spokeswoman said. "We just didn't want to upset the gay community. The new name is more politically correct."
Posted by Sid at 10:33 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
April 11, 2006
Move it or loose it granny
The California government can make a business spend a fortune putting in ramps to help the infirm but have one take a little too long to cross the road...
An 82-year-old woman received a $114 ticket for taking too long to cross a street. Mayvis Coyle said she began shuffling with her cane across Foothill Boulevard in the San Fernando Valley when the light was green, but was unable to make it to the other side before it turned red.In Texas the motorcycle cop would have helped the lady cross the street.
She said the motorcycle officer who ticketed her on Feb. 15 told her she was obstructing traffic.
Why did granny cross the road . . . . Who knows, we will ask if she ever makes it to the other side.
Posted by Sid at 12:37 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
March 31, 2006
Kosher phones
Its things like this that illustrates how depraved the general public can be. I have often marveled at how quickly the most innocent of new technologies can be perverted into some form of sexual aid necessitating an innovation to bring it back into line with common decency for the protection of our children and our own sanity.
Some Arab companies even have inquired about the phone's main feature: keeping out sex lines and other worldly temptations.
The phones — carrying the seal of approval from Israel's rabbinical authorities — have been one of the most successful mergers of technology and centuries-old tradition in the ultra-Orthodox community, which is most widely recognized by the men's black garb based on the dress of 19th century European Jews.I am sure many of you can sympathize with the dread of opening e-mail and being bombarded by the porn advertisements involving various combinations of men, women and farm animals. Now days we many times have to go so far as defend ourselves from being bombarded with these perversions.
Posted by Sid at 12:12 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
March 18, 2006
Flying Cow Leaves Two Police Cars in Flames
Life can be funnier then fiction.
"You start off with kind of a bizarre accident with these cows spilling onto the interstate. That leads to other accidents, that leads to a car chase, that leads to a foot chase," Watson recalls.
Posted by Sid at 12:41 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
March 16, 2006
Man sues city because he backed into his own car
People who do this kind of stuff really should be subject to felony fraud prosecution.
When a dump truck backed into Curtis Gokey's car, he decided to sue the city for damages. Only thing is, he was the one driving the dump truck. But that minor detail didn't stop Gokey, a Lodi city employee, from filing a $3,600 claim for the December accident, even after admitting the crash was his fault.I am sure by now the local tax payers have had to shell out a good penny to deal with this farce.
Posted by Sid at 12:18 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
March 06, 2006
Taliban in, US military out at Yale
Yes I know. More of the same.
Are there no limits to how arrogant and out-of-touch America's Ivy League schools can get? Last week it emerged that Sayed Rahmatullah Hashemi, former deputy foreign secretary of the Taliban, is now a student at Yale while at the same time the school continues to block ROTC training from its campus and argues for the right of its law school to exclude military recruiters. King George's troops played the music to "The World Turned Upside Down" as they surrendered at Yorktown. Perhaps the Ivy League should adopt that tune as they surrender all vestiges of common sense.
Posted by Sid at 12:01 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
February 27, 2006
Clinton seeking more interns
Many times real life is funnier then fiction.
If you are an undergraduate, graduate or professional student or a recent graduate with your own strong interest in crucial issues of our day, the Clinton Foundation Intern Program offers a unique opportunity for growth, learning and meaningful service. We are looking for people who are dependable, enthusiastic, professional, and intelligent.
Hands-on experience
Posted by Sid at 06:52 PM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
February 25, 2006
Man forced to marry goat
No explaination needed here.
A Sudanese man has been forced to take a goat as his "wife", after he was caught having sex with the animal.
Posted by Sid at 05:44 PM | Comments (1) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
February 10, 2006
Knife amnesty
A NATIONWIDE knife amnesty to end the carnage on our streets was launched yesterday.The five-week initiative, running throughout the UK, is aimed at repeating the success of Operation Blade, which took thousands of weapons off the streets of Strathclyde in 1993.
Posted by Sid at 12:29 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
January 22, 2006
God Bless America makes you like a Nazi
The liberal fall from grace in Canada has the self loathing God haters in that country sounding like the left here in America.
Bush usually says it in front of a set of gigantic, eagle-topped American flags, reminiscent of nothing so much as the days when Germany's leader spoke and sputtered in front of platoons of monstrous, threatening flags.Hitler also wore clothes during public speeches, I wonder if Bush should appear in public naked to avoid acting like Hitler.Bush also always wears a prominently-placed American flag pin on his lapel, just in case you forget where he's from. I can never help thinking of the image of Hitler wearing his quiet Iron Cross on an otherwise plain, neatly-tailored uniform. Neatness and patriotism for the cameras instead of troops sloshing through human blood.
What’s funny is seeing the left get bent out of shape when the right accuses them of sounding like terrorists when they agree with terrorists that America is a terrorist state and cannot win the war in Iraq.
Posted by Sid at 04:33 PM | Comments (1) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
January 21, 2006
$300-$600 a month just to park your car
Many in New York do not own cars and I can see why.
Central Parking, the world's largest parking-lot owner, raised rates at its garage on Second Avenue and East 65th Street to $350 a month from $325 in October, says Hector Chevalier, a regional vice president. Keeping a car at Time Warner Center across from Central Park runs about $550 to $600 a month. One- bedroom rentals are available for $500 to $600 in Greensboro, North Carolina; Austin, Texas; Cincinnati; and Oklahoma City, according to Internet site Rent.net.
Posted by Sid at 08:54 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
January 15, 2006
Mandatory condom possession
What could I possibly add to make this more funny.
A western Colombian city councilman wants to require everyone in town 14 or older to carry a condom to prevent pregnancy and disease, outraging local priests.Imagine being arrested for failure to possess a condom.
William Pena, a councilman in Tulua, said Wednesday he will present a formal proposal to force all men and women — even those just visiting — to always carry at least one condom. Those caught empty-pocketed could pay a fine of $180 or take a safe sex course, he said.
Posted by Sid at 08:38 AM | Comments (3) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
January 13, 2006
Your horse is gay
I would like to think this could never happen in America.
“Excuse me,” Mr Brown ventured to the officer towering above him, “do you realise your horse is gay?”. It seemed a harmless enough, if not rivetingly witty, remark. Moments later, however, Mr Brown was sobered by the appearance of two squad cars. A posse of unmounted officers arrested him and charged him under Section 5 of the Public Order Act for making homophobic remarks.But then everyone on the left has been rushing headlong to adopt the more enlightened European law.
His remark, it was alleged, was deemed likely to cause harassment, alarm or distress. The Act, however, does not make clear whether equine alarm and distress are covered by its provisions, or whether only human beings are likely to be offended.Sounds to me like a million dollar study is needed to answer the question of gay equine homophobic sensitivity.
Posted by Sid at 12:59 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
January 11, 2006
17,000 years in prision
Whats funny is it's not even a life sentence and the guy will be out in 30 years.
Despite such long prison sentences being passed down in Spain, 30 years is the maximum that can be served under Spanish law.
Posted by Sid at 06:00 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
January 09, 2006
Voluntary Human Extinction Movement
This is one of those things that seems too nuts to be real but you take serious because you know there are people that actually think this way.
Phasing out the human race by voluntarily ceasing to breed will allow Earth's biosphere to return to good health. Crowded conditions and resource shortages will improve as we become less dense.
Posted by Sid at 12:59 AM | Comments (4) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
December 29, 2005
Armed robbers steal first-aid kit
You have to wonder how multiple robbers deal with this kind of result.
Armed robbers who held up a money courier made off with his first aid kit instead of the suitcase full of cash.Do they laugh it off like buddies or does someone end up in the river.The two bandits pursued the courier at high speed before shooting at his vehicle and forcing him to stop on a road in Gronau, Germany.
Forcing the boot open, one of the crooks snatched a case before fleeing again. But instead of taking the money, he made off with a first aid kit.
Posted by Sid at 12:04 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
December 27, 2005
Burka nightmares
Sometime a custom leads to justice in the cruelest way.
AN Egyptian man discovered on his wedding day that his fiancee of three years was a man who had been concealing his identity behind a veil.The 26-year-old groom-to-be, Tamer Shehata, was notified by a female guest attending his wedding that his would-be wife was a man in women's clothing.
Mr Abo Zeid, whose face was obscured to Mr Shehata by a niqab or burka (face veil) said he had intended to tell after they were married, and had hoped to convince Mr Shehata to consummate the marriage.You just know this cannot be the first such time this has happened.
Posted by Sid at 12:24 AM | Comments (1) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
December 15, 2005
You Know it's Time to Kick Your Kids Out when They Sue You
My kids would have found their butts on the street in one second flat if they tried this on me.
A 19-year-old German girl has sued her mother for confiscating her two guinea pigs, a dog and a litter of puppies and giving them to an animal home, authorities said Wednesday.I don't see what there is to mediate.
Posted by Sid at 12:50 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
December 14, 2005
Death Row Inmate to Old and Sick to be Executed
I personally oppose the death penalty on religious grounds but sometimes you see someone make an argument that just makes one laugh. For example, a while back someone tried to make the case that execution by lethal injection was inhumane because it was not approved by the FDA. Well now we have another bizarre reason to postpone and execution.
Allen, who turns 76 on Jan. 16, uses a wheelchair. An advanced case of diabetes has left him legally blind. He suffered a heart attack Sept. 2.His condition seems to be so bad I can only image that if he were related to Michael Schivo everyone would be clamoring for him to be starved to death.His lawyers filed a 33-page petition for clemency Tuesday with the governor's office in Sacramento.
"He's the oldest inmate on California's Death Row. ... He's enfeebled," Michael Satris, one of Allen's lawyers, said in an interview. "No prisoner in the state of California has ever been executed at that age.
Posted by Sid at 12:51 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
December 11, 2005
Robber Pistol Whipped by Female Store Cleric with His Own Gun
Its bad enough getting caught committing a crime but how in the world will this con be able to save face when he is sent to jail. I guarantee you he may actually get laughed out of court or die from humiliation.
“He followed me behind the counter, put his gun down and turned his back to me and went to grab the register,” Duval recalled. “That’s when I picked up the gun and cold-cocked him over the head."I suppose the ACLU will soon be filing a brief on the robber’s behalf for the use of excessive force.
Posted by Sid at 01:02 PM | Comments (1) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
December 05, 2005
When Statues Get More Action then Live Men
How would you feel as a man if a statue had to be fenced off because it was getting more action then you.
Pere Lachaise cemetery in Paris has fenced off a famous tomb to prevent lewd acts being performed on a statue.But then it is in France. Need we say more?
Posted by Sid at 12:59 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
December 04, 2005
Sleepwalker Charged with Sexual Assault
Assuming you buy the sex while asleep how could you possibly commit sexual assault while sleepwalking?
Rape crisis counselors and women's advocates are outraged Thursday after a man in Toronto, Canada was found not guilty of raping a woman because he was sleepwalking at the time, according to a Local 6 News report.Unless the woman was so wasted she was asleep as well, which by her description we know it cannot be the case.Canadian lawyers said Jan Luedecke, 33, suffers from a rare condition called sexomnia. The genetic disorder combines sleepwalking with sexual acts and is often brought on by alcohol, according to the report.
Posted by Sid at 12:42 AM | Comments (4) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
November 26, 2005
Bush Risking Intergalactic War - Really
Just when you thought you had seen the bottom of the left wing insanity pit.
On September 25, 2005, in a startling speech at the University of Toronto that caught the attention of mainstream newspapers and magazines, Paul Hellyer, Canada’s Defence Minister from 1963-67 under Nobel Peace Prize Laureate Prime Minister Lester Pearson, publicly stated: "UFOs, are as real as the airplanes that fly over your head."You find it had a basement.Mr. Hellyer went on to say, "I'm so concerned about what the consequences might be of starting an intergalactic war, that I just think I had to say something."
Hellyer revealed, "The secrecy involved in all matters pertaining to the Roswell incident was unparalled. The classification was, from the outset, above top secret, so the vast majority of U.S. officials and politicians, let alone a mere allied minister of defence, were never in-the-loop."
Hellyer warned, "The United States military are preparing weapons which could be used against the aliens, and they could get us into an intergalactic war without us ever having any warning. He stated, "The Bush administration has finally agreed to let the military build a forward base on the moon, which will put them in a better position to keep track of the goings and comings of the visitors from space, and to shoot at them, if they so decide."
Hellyer’s speech ended with a standing ovation. He said, "The time has come to lift the veil of secrecy, and let the truth emerge, so there can be a real and informed debate, about one of the most important problems facing our planet today."
Be sure and note the standing ovation from the audience and that fact that this was reported as news before you call this an isolated report. Read the entire article it is just hilarious the level of seriousness given the issues.
Posted by Sid at 12:10 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
November 23, 2005
Tomato Bazooka
We can only hope terrorists never get their hands on this technology.
Mr Donohue allegedly threatened to blow the chopper out of the sky using a home-made bazooka loaded with tomatoes.
Posted by Sid at 12:21 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
November 22, 2005
Naked and Tasers Don't Mix
Ouch.
When you Taser a naked man, bad things can happen.
Posted by Sid at 12:05 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
November 21, 2005
Smokers Please Step Outside the Plane to Light up
You knew one day it would happen.
A French woman has admitted attempting to open an aeroplane door mid-flight so that she could smoke a cigarette.
Posted by Sid at 12:28 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
November 10, 2005
Fashion Triumphs Over Justice
A teenager has successfully challenged a court bid forcing her to wear an electronic ankle tag as she said it would not look right with a skirt.
Ms Hughes, 18, said: "I didn't want to wear a tag because they are really bulky and embarrassing."Nothing I could say would make this less ridiculous.
Posted by Sid at 12:59 AM | Comments (2) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
November 08, 2005
Taking Your Cell Phone to the Grave
Having a teenage daughter I can completely understand how this can happen.
"People will sometimes leave mementos in coffins with the deceased and nowadays it is happening that people are taking their mobile phones with them," Peter Flanagan of Kirwan's funeral homes in Dublin told AFP.But this takes the cake in my opinion.
Families burying phones with their loved ones are encouraged to either turn them off or switch them to silent or vibration alert.With custom ring tones this could create a really interesting scenario. Just imagine the "Happy days are here again" tune emanating from the coffin."Obviously you don't want a phone ringing inside a coffin during a funeral," Flanagan said.
Posted by Sid at 12:09 AM | Comments (5) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
November 03, 2005
Bra Shopping Aid for Clueless Males
One has to wonder if a guy would ever be able to settle on a decision with this shopping aid.
A Dutch designer has created a wall of fake breasts to help male shoppers buy bras that fit their wives or girlfriends.
Posted by Sid at 12:55 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
October 30, 2005
Stop Me Before I Hurt Myself or I will Sue
Fake ID, underage, drunk, wreck, paraplegic, victim, sue.
On an early May morning three years ago, Robert E. Nunez II got into a horrific car crash in Malden after a night of bar-hopping during which he says he had eight drinks of vodka and soda. The accident left him a paraplegic.These judges should have tossed this guy out on his ear. I have some sympathy for victims of drunk drivers in these situations but this guy deserves nothing. Not even the encouragement of a lawsuit.Nunez, a 2001 graduate of Revere High School, acknowledges in court papers that he was driving drunk and also carrying a phony ID card because he was just 19 at the time, too young to legally drink in Massachusetts. Nevertheless, a state judge has ruled he can sue two bars for negligence on the grounds that they allegedly breached their duties by serving an underage customer.
Posted by Sid at 08:14 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
October 29, 2005
Eat Sh*t
I think everyone has worried at one time or another if food given them has been contaminated. Particularly if you complain about the cooking in a restaurant and have it sent back to be corrected. The stories of people spitting in food or sodas are not uncommon but this guy has definitely gone too far.
A man convicted this week for tainting grocery store baked items by sprinkling dried feces on the food is scheduled to be sentenced Thursday.I may never eat again.
Posted by Sid at 12:52 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
October 28, 2005
Suicide Passes for Halloween Decoration
Wow.
The apparent suicide of a woman found hanging from a tree went unreported for hours because passers-by thought the body was a Halloween decoration, authorities said.Just goes to show how convincing some yard decorations are these days.
Posted by Sid at 12:04 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
October 26, 2005
Illegal to Use the Letters Q and W
Obviously this is an effort to adopt the culturephobic practices of the French.
DIYARBAKIR, Turkey (Reuters) -- A Turkish court has fined 20 people for using the letters Q and W on placards at a Kurdish new year celebration, under a law that bans use of characters not in the Turkish alphabet, rights campaigners said.I hope sesame street broadcasts from America dont make it to Turkey. I would hate to see the cookie monster or big bird become international felons for violating Turkish law.
Posted by Sid at 12:31 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
October 23, 2005
Rapist Arrested Cashing Victoms Check
I love stories where the criminal gets himself arrested by sheer stupidity.
A rapist who attacked a woman at gunpoint was captured when he forced his victim to make a check out to him and then tried to cash it, police said.I am just glad the caught the animal.
Posted by Sid at 12:17 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
October 22, 2005
Two Year Olds Arm Stuck in Meat Grinder
Its things like this that make the blood run cold.
A 2-year-old was flown to a Cleveland-area hospital Wednesday after his arm got stuck in a meat grinder, Cleveland television station WEWS reported.Police are investigating the incident that happened inside a home in Westlake, Ohio. They said the grinder was on the floor and plugged in when the incident occurred.
Posted by Sid at 12:22 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
Raining Corpses
You surely have heard the phrase "raining cats and dogs". Well now we have a new one.
The driver told officers he thought the body had fallen from the sky, said St. Petersburg police Officer Mike Jockers.The man hit a pedestrian and drove three miles with him lodged in the windshield.
As the car approached the toll plaza, the toll taker thought it was a prank, until he saw the blood.I must say as a Halloween prank this would be pretty cool. It scares me to know there are people this clueless driving the nation’s highways with me.
Posted by Sid at 12:12 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
October 21, 2005
Dead Man Gets Parking Ticket
This has to make the locals feel safe and secure under the watchful eye of the local authorities.
Australian authorities have apologised to the family of an elderly man who was given a parking ticket while he lay dead in his car in a suburban shopping centre.
The 71-year-old man, known to be seriously ill, went missing nine days ago and his body was found in his car in a shopping mall car park in a Melbourne suburb, police said.A parking ticket had been placed on the car the day before his body was found.
Posted by Sid at 06:25 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
October 15, 2005
It's Not the Sex/Booze/Drugs it's the Money That’s Really Bad
Kenneth M. Hoagland is fed up. He is tired of students at his Catholic high school going out on prom night and having their parents spend boatloads of money showing off.
"It is not primarily the sex/booze/drugs that surround this event, as problematic as they might be; it is rather the flaunting of affluence, assuming exaggerated expenses, a pursuit of vanity for vanity's sake -- in a word, financial decadence," Brother Hoagland said, fed up with what he calls the "bacchanalian aspects" of the prom.Evidently being Catholic means something else in the north east if sex, booze and drugs are only "problematic" and of secondary importance. One of the students insists.
"there's never been a problem at the prom, but everything that happens after it has turned into something ... it's what an average 17 or 18 year old is doing, but it's not necessarily what they should be doing."But the parents are on top of the situation.
"This is my fourth child to go through Kellenberg and I don't think they have a right to judge what goes on after the prom," he said. "They put everybody in the category of drinkers and drug addicts. I don't believe that's the right thing to do."Clueless in Long Island.
Posted by Sid at 11:42 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
October 13, 2005
Sperm Donor Ordered to Pay Child Support
This is so funny and tragic at the same time.
A SWEDISH man who donated his sperm to a lesbian couple must pay child support for the three children he fathered, Sweden's Supreme Court ruled today.Even lesbians need a good man to bring home the bacon.The man, now 39, donated his sperm to the couple in the early 1990s. Three sons were born during the years 1992-1996, according to Swedish news agency TT which reported the ruling.
The man told the court that he and the women had agreed that he would play no role in the boys' child rearing and that the two women would be their parents.Nonetheless, the man signed a document confirming that he was the biological father of the children.
Shortly after he signed the document, the two women separated and the biological mother demanded that the man pay child support.
The man took the case to court, but lost in the district and appeals courts.
The Supreme Court upheld those rulings today, saying that as the biological father he is required to pay for the children's upbringing.
Posted by Sid at 06:54 AM | Comments (1) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
October 12, 2005
16th Child and Still Nuts
This story reminds me of a running joke I use around the wife. Whenever conversation turns to number of children I always tell people I wanted ten sons because I saw it on TV once and thought it was a cool idea. This is immediately followed by my wife rolling her eyes and advising me "only if you have them".
Michelle Duggar just delivered her 16th child, and she's already thinking about doing it again.Normally I consider this the kind of insanity only practiced in third-world countries but then I noticed she lived in Arkansas. One particular line struck me as hilarious.
He said Johannah's birth was especially exciting because it was the first time in eight years the family has had a girl.Now that is a line you don't see spoken very often I bet.
Posted by Sid at 06:13 PM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
October 11, 2005
Let's Ask Mommas' corpse
A man in southern India preserved the corpse of his mother at home for 20 years until his death last week.It gives living at home with mom a whole new meaning. Imagine bringing a date home to meet your mother.
Posted by Sid at 12:09 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
October 08, 2005
Smoking Pot Around Police Never gets Old
Another example of gene pool decay.
Deputy Sheriff Ryan Maye told the Times-Leader of Wilkes-Barre, Pa., that he first heard the rustle of a plastic baggie coming from the next stall at about 10:45 a.m. EDT Tuesday.More proof using drugs means you are stupid or they make you that way.Then Maye heard the sound of a lighter being struck. Within seconds, the smell of roasting marijuana filled the men's room of the magnificent neo-classical Luzerne County Courthouse in Wilkes-Barre.
"I banged on the door and ordered him to come out," Maye told the paper.
From the stall emerged a sheepish Nickolai Cinchock, 32, who was due for an 11 a.m. hearing on a recent arrest of theft and drug charges. Cinchock was tucking a pipe back into his pocket, according to Maye.
Posted by Sid at 12:04 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
October 06, 2005
The Healing Power of Sex
One has to wonder at the lengths that people will go to in trying to get laid. In so many of these cases it results from a classic combination of lust, stupidity and brass. The lust is usually provided by the male though rumor is women are aggressively trying to race men to the sewer these days.
For our first example we have a doctor that actually convinced a woman that he could help her with her back pain.
An Oregon woman whose doctor convinced her that he could cure her lower back pain by having sex with her is suing him and his medical clinic for $4 million, according to legal documents obtained on Monday.My guess is he probably went too far when he charged the state's Oregon Health Plan $5,000 for his 45-minute "treatments" involving the woman. Would a woman really be stupid enough to fall for this?
Also in the news we have the Danish who provide prostitute benefits to disabled.
A disabled Danish man is fighting for the state to pay for him to have a prostitute visit him at home.It is not enough to have paid prostitutes he now demands home delivery.
Posted by Sid at 12:08 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
October 05, 2005
Pig Intolerance
Posted by Sid at 12:13 AM | Comments (1) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
October 03, 2005
Pig Persecution in Britian
In an effort to avoid offending British Muslims pig parefenalia is being banned from the workplace.
NOVELTY pig calendars and toys have been banned from a council office — in case they offend Muslim staff.Workers in the benefits department at Dudley Council, West Midlands, were told to remove or cover up all pig-related items, including toys, porcelain figures, calendars and even a tissue box featuring Winnie the Pooh and Piglet.
Bosses acted after a Muslim complained about pig-shaped stress relievers delivered to the council in the run-up to the Islamic festival of Ramadan.
Posted by Sid at 12:04 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
October 02, 2005
Danish Air Force Kills Santa's Reindeer
The Danish Air Force has paid 30,000 krones (about $4,800) in damages to a local Santa Claus after its F-16s scared his only reindeer to death, Danish television reported Friday.No word on which one. I hope it wasn't Rudolph. At least it was a painless death. At first I was worried the poor reindeer got caught in an engine while flying. That happens to birds some times.The incident occurred in February at the farm of Olavi Niikanoff, who fulfils traditional Christmas time work as a local Santa Claus. Niikanoff said his reindeer, Rudolph, was quietly grazing when two F-16s appeared out of nowhere and roared over the terrified animal.
The reindeer died on the spot from a heart attack, a veterinarian said.
Posted by Sid at 10:37 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
September 30, 2005
Mis-Appropriation of Non-Essential Items
If your a civilian it's looting, if your a New Orleans cop its "the possibility of appropriation of non-essential items during the height of Katrina, from businesses." Instead of desertion I guess we could call it "unconfirmed presence". For cops that never existed we could call them "non-corporal force enhancement".
Posted by Sid at 12:55 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
September 25, 2005
Women, Children and Pets First
In a stunning example of efforts to promote pet equality states may soon be required to have pet evacuation plans.
As another killer hurricane was set to slam the Gulf Coast, Bay State Congressman Barney Frank signed onto a bill that would block federal aid to states without plans to evacuate pets.
The Pets Evacuation and Transportation Standards Act filed Thursday by Frank and four other congressmen would require states to submit plans to rescue animals or risk losing federal dollars for disaster preparedness.
``There was a serious problem with pets in New Orleans. People think it's trivial,'' Frank said. ``There are a lot of dogs crawling around New Orleans biting people. It's just not healthy having a bunch of animals prowling around. It can be dangerous.''I doubt he considers shooting them as being an acceptable plan. He means requiring their rescue which would endanger human lives as resources were diverted to saving pets. This is just another government representative requiring a compassionate response for a tragic problem with no intelligent plan on how to do it.
Posted by Sid at 12:13 AM | Comments (1) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
September 21, 2005
Prostitutes As A Government Benefit for the Disabled
I am not sure we here in the United States are too far from this ourselves considering that most government drug benefits cover Viagra (including to sex offenders).
Danish activists for the disabled are staunchly defending a government campaign that pays sex workers to provide sex once a month for disabled people.
Responded Stig Langvad of the country's Disabled Association: "The disabled must have the same possibilities as other people. Politicians can debate whether prostitution should be allowed in general, instead of preventing only the disabled from having access to it."If we do we could revise the Constitution to read "... to life, liberty and the pursuit of government funded sex".
Posted by Sid at 12:45 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
September 18, 2005
Don't Try This at Home
With emergency vehicles in place, the Cessna flew in low and slow with a jeep right beside it. After several passes at about 80 miles per hour, the three-man crew in the jeep was able to see the problem and figure out how to fix it.On a final pass, the men used a five-foot long pole to push the landing gear into place and lock it. With that done, the plane was able to land safely.
Posted by Sid at 12:40 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
September 17, 2005
Is that 40,000 Volts in Your Pocket or are You Just Glad to See Me.
There is a new fashion no-no out there. Beware mixing synthetic nylon jackets and woollen shirts if you plan to spend too much time walking on carpet.
As he walked into the building, the carpet ignited from the 40,000 volts of static electricity that had built up."It sounded almost like a firecracker or something like that," he said.
"Within about five minutes, the carpet started to erupt," he told Australian radio.
His clothes were measured by firemen as carrying a current of 40,000 volts, the Reuters news agency quoted Mr Barton as saying.It reminds me of a time in my youth where a friend of mine showed me how to make a simple vibrator circuit that could be used to generate a small but harmless electrical shock. We wired this to the counter of our snack bar that had a metal edge circling it with a small gap near the middle. This allowed us to come in contact with half the circuit while any customers leaning against the counter came in contact with the other. This was completely harmless until we reached over and touched the unsuspecting victim with the tip of our finger.
I am not sure it was a great way to entice new customers to visit the snack bar but it was great fun for about a week. What was even better was that no one knew how we were managing this "miracle". After a few times no one would allow us anywhere near them even though we could only shock them if they leaned against the snack bar counter.
Posted by Sid at 12:53 AM | Comments (1) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
September 15, 2005
Reuters Gets Scoop on Bush Bathroom Dump
There is an obsession these days about what the President does every second of the day. The assumption is that he is incapable of functioning as President unless he is at the White House. I have even been working on an entry speculating on what would happen if anything else happened and it turned out President Bush was in the bathroom. Well today I got my answer.
It seems nothing is too low. Imagine if the press was this aggressive during Clinton's Monica episode. Imagine the porn.
Posted by Sid at 12:20 AM | Comments (1) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
September 08, 2005
Donkey Meat Flavored with Tiger Urine . . Yummy
I don’t ever want to hear about what hot dogs are made of ever again.
The Hufulou restaurant, located beside the Heidaohezi tiger reserve near the city of Hailin, had advertised stir-fried tiger meat with chilies for $98as well as liquor flavored with tiger bone for $74 a bottle, the China Daily reported.
The sale of tiger parts is illegal in China and officers shut down the restaurant, only to be told by owner, Ma Shikun, that the meat was actually that of donkeys, flavored with tiger urine to give the dish a "special" tang, the newspaper said.You have to wonder if rich people all across China are now heaving in their toilets and brushing their teeth for hours.
Posted by Sid at 11:02 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
Ghosts May End up in Court Over Lawsuit.
The owners of Amura Japanese Restaurant say they don't want to move into a renovated building at Church Street Station because it's haunted, according to a lawsuit filed by the building's landlord.
Church Street Station's owners offered to bring in someone to perform an exorcism but were rebuffed, according to the $2.6 million lawsuit.
Visitors -- San Martin included -- claim to have heard crying from the spirits of the prostitutes' illegitimate children, supposedly put to death to hide their well-to-do fathers' indiscretions. Others claim to have seen a slender man in a black coat playing a piano or reflected in a mirror."Late at night, staff members and guests alike would hear the piano playing by itself," San Martin said. When approached, the man would smile, nod and disappear.
Posted by Sid at 11:02 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
September 01, 2005
How the Hell Do We Label These People as Poor Anyway
In another classic example of missing the forest for the trees we get this.
Is the "digital divide" simply a "cultural divide?" New Census Bureau data show that the poor have cash to spend on computers, but they choose instead to spend it on big-screen TVs, says Investor's Business Daily (IBD).Poor people can afford TV's worth $2000 to $5000 dollars?Little-noticed data still trickling out from the last U.S. census shows that the poor shun PCs and other valuable information gear for entertainment toys. In fact, their spending on color TVs -- including big-screen TVs -- is on par with the rich.
Consider:
Money spent on such toys (to say nothing of Blockbuster film rentals and video games), meanwhile, is not being spent on tools that could lift them out of poverty, says IBD.
- More than 34 percent of poor own two color TVs compared with 33 percent of the rich, according to the latest Census Bureau tables; and more than half own two or more color TVs.
- What's more, fully 1 in 4 poor households have a large-screen TV (versus 2 in 5 wealthy households).
- Nearly 65 percent of the poor in this country have cable or satellite hooked up to their boob tubes.
- And a whopping 74 percent have a VCR or DVD player.
According to the census:As the government's own data bear out, a great many low-income Americans are poor in technology largely because they're poor in judgment - and they're just hurting themselves, says IBD.
- Less than 20 percent of the poor own a PC, and just 15 percent have access to the Internet and its vast treasure of knowledge.
- In contrast, 83 percent of upper-income Americans own at least one PC, and 74 percent are online.
Posted by Sid at 12:13 AM | Comments (1) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
August 31, 2005
Clinton and Monica on Broadway
If I hadn't seen this I would have considered it a lie.
I have seen it all now.
Posted by Sid at 12:45 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
August 30, 2005
F-word in School X 5
In another classic example of European enlightenment kids in this school can now use the F-word when talking to teachers but only 5 times a class. More would obviously be going too far I guess.
A secondary school is to allow pupils to swear at teachers - as long as they don't do so more than five times in a lesson. A running tally of how many times the f-word has been used will be kept on the board. If a class goes over the limit, they will be 'spoken' to at the end of the lesson.If they are unable to count as high as five are they allowed to use the F-word as much as they want so their self esteem is not harmed?
Posted by Sid at 12:05 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
August 14, 2005
$250,000 Judgment for Being Bullied in School
This may be a new trend in obtaining scholarships for higher education. Almost everyone has been bullied at one time or another in school. Surely everyone deserves a piece of the action.
A federal jury has ordered a Kansas school district to pay $250,000 to a former student tormented by school bullies.We could call it the “Life Sucks Scholarship for Hopeless Losers”. It takes truly alert parenting to allow this to go on for five years. Assuming it's not the usual preplanned money grab."That's five years of my life that I had to live — just depressed, angry, scared," said the boy, Dylan Theno, 18, of Tonganoxie, Kan. "I can never get that back."
Posted by Sid at 01:04 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
August 11, 2005
Dirty Dishes Cause Shooting Death
I know stories like this are tragic but still...
A man charged with shooting his 17-year-old wife after an argument over dirty dishes was ordered to stand trial on criminal homicide and other charges.If guns can be responsible so can dirty dishes. Obviously Dr. Phil is not as good a family counselor as he would like to think.At a preliminary hearing yesterday, state police said James Russell Petrie, 27, of Richhill Township, told them he was watching "Dr. Phil" on television when his wife came downstairs July 7 and also started watching the show.
Petrie said he asked his wife, Jessica, why there were still dirty dishes in the sink. She told him she would "get to them," angering her husband who felt he was being ignored, police said.
That's when Petrie took a .22-caliber gun and shot his wife in the head, police said.
Posted by Sid at 02:58 PM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
August 10, 2005
Male Chastity Belt?
What could I possibly add to this.
The "family jewels" of one Brentwood man recently were locked up for two weeks - literally.Thankfully no photo's were available.
On Saturday, July 30, at about 3:40 a.m., Brentwood police assisted ambulance and rescue personnel with a 39-year-old man with a padlock on his testicles.According to police, the man, who police are not identifying, was intoxicated when they arrived on scene.
The man reported that the padlock had been on his testicles for two weeks. Cpl. H.D. Wood IV said the man reported that a friend put the lock on his testicles. He was allegedly severely intoxicated and passed out. He told police that when he woke up the padlock was placed around top his scrotum and his friend was gone.
Posted by Sid at 03:07 PM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
August 04, 2005
Young Girls Soccer Coach Opening All Nude Strip Club
Here we are in an age of what seems rampant pedophilia and perversion. The girl’s soccer coach decides to open an all nude strip club. You would think the reaction would not only be NO! But HELL NO!
That would be true in a sane world but not ours.
Scalzo says the issues are separate and said they should not have any effect on each other.Then again maybe I am just being unreasonable in thinking that all nude strip club owners should not be the soccer coach for young impressionable girls. He should be removed as soccer coach reguardless of the outcome on the strip club.“Obviously we would have to consider, I guess his motives, and I guess that’s what we would probably voice our concerns over,” said board member Marilyn Gubbiotti. “We will take into consideration a lot of things.”
Gubbiotti said the board will not hold Scalzo’s business against him solely because it’s a strip club, but it will take it into consideration.
Other board members could not be reached.
Scalzo said he can’t understand why, after eight years of coaching the team, his outside business would play a role in whether he will be able to keep the post.
“That’s mind-boggling to me,” Scalzo said. “What I’m doing is nothing but a legal business.”
Scalzo noted the strip club is not even open yet. And if he is given permission to open the club, it would have nothing to do with the soccer team, he said.
Posted by Sid at 08:01 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
August 03, 2005
Salem Police Crack Down on Illicit Lemonade Stand
This guy may as well close his business. This kind of negative advertising cannot be bought.
A sausage vendor has given two Salem boys trying to make a buck selling lemonade a lesson in cutthroat business techniques.Police shut down the lemonade stand on Salem Common after the sausage man complained that the boys didn't have a permit and were taking customers away from him.
Lt. Scott Englehart said police had no choice but to enforce the rules. But he said it's "ridiculous that little kids can't sell lemonade."
Jarrod Clowery is the sausage man. He said he regrets ever calling police because now all he gets are icy stares from people around town who heard about the story.
Dominic Serino, 9, said after he and Ryan Decker, 11, were thrown off the Common, they relocated to a spot near Serino's home. But their business dropped off.
Posted by Sid at 12:05 PM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
July 29, 2005
Pain in the Ass Sues Over Pain in the Ass
A Kansas woman has filed a lawsuit seeking damages for severe burns on her rear end caused by chemicals used to clean a toilet at a Denny's Restaurant.Yep, I posted this just so I could use that title. Odds are this is just another trumped up money grab.
Posted by Sid at 01:38 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
July 27, 2005
11 Wives and 77 Children
An Ethiopian man with 11 wives and 77 children is urging people not to follow his example and is giving advice on family planning and contraception.Duh!!
Posted by Sid at 11:06 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
Americans with Disabilities Act destroying Miniture Golf
I think we all understand the need to make entertainment venues accessible to as many as possible but I have to say I draw the line when it comes to destroying those venues. We all know the best miniature golf courses are the ones that are hard for even the non-handicapped to navigate so when I first saw this I said no way.
In New Jersey not long ago, I went to play miniature golf with my fiancée. I'll call the place "Golfville." After we'd paid, we discovered that the course consisted of nothing but flat, straight, unchallenging par-2 holes. I immediately complained to the management, and the response was that a NJ law requires any new miniature golf course to be wheelchair accessible!Then I saw this.In other words, I mused, only crappy miniature golf courses can now be built – which means no one who isn't handicapped will want to play, effectively killing the pastime – just so a handful of theoretical miniature golf "diehards on wheelchairs" can play. Sounded pretty stupid. (BTW, we didn't even bother playing, and they wouldn't give me a refund.)
The Americans with Disabilities Act (ADA) is a comprehensive civil rights law that prohibits discrimination on the basis of disability. The ADA requires that newly constructed and altered state and local government facilities, places of public accommodation, and commercial facilities be readily accessible to, and usable by, individuals with disabilities. The ADA Accessibility Guidelines (ADAAG) is the standard applied to buildings and facilities. Recreational facilities, including miniature golf courses, are among the facilities required to comply with the ADA.This is government gone mad.
Posted by Sid at 11:05 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
Man's foot Confiscated by Police
I know if I had any body parts removed I would want to keep them on my porch just like this.
Ezekiel Rubottom, 21, of Lawrence, had to have his clubbed left foot amputated three weeks ago after a lifetime of medical problems. After the operation, he took it home.
On Monday, Rubottom went with police down to Lawrence Memorial Hospital (search), where he proved to them that the foot was his. Hospital official Karen Shumate said people often keep leftover body parts.Women want to keep their uterus after its removed? Thats just too weird."They've had women that want their uterus. People take tonsils. They take appendixes," she told the newspaper. "I think it's unusual that someone would want a foot, but it's within their rights because it's theirs."
Now the foot is back on the front porch, where it floats in the bucket along with a porcelain horse and a can of Hamm's beer (search), forming what Rubottom calls "a collage of myself." Two toes have been snipped off as possible gifts to friends.
Posted by Sid at 12:45 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
July 23, 2005
20 Head of Cattle and 40 Goats for Chelsea Clinton
Former US president Bill Clinton, who was visiting Kenya, will probably never hear about it but he's being offered 20 head of cattle and 40 goats for the hand of his daughter in marriage.More here.The 36-year-old bachelor, Godwin Kipkemoi Chepkurgor, has waited five years after writing to the president and vows to remain unmarried until he gets an answer.
Posted by Sid at 03:59 PM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
July 22, 2005
Terrorist Insurance Sales Model
Seems to me the Osama business model is working as well in both applications.
KANPUR: "Dear terrorists, new firman issued. Kill 10, take a branded T-shirt and be best terrorist in the group. Jehad begins from July 18-20 – Osama bin Laden.’’ No, this isn’t a message on the Al-Jazeera channel.It is creative minds at work at ICICI-Prudential Insurance Company, exhorting local agents to go for a ‘sales kill’. The new strategy was aptly named ‘Mission Jehad’.
In a meeting of the company’s agents on Tuesday night, employees were asked to adopt the “bin Laden strategy”, ie, one terrorist killing 10 people.
Here, though, jehad meant sale of insurance policies. The best reward at stake — a glass tumbler — was named after the world’s most wanted terrorist.
"During the meeting, insurance company personnel apprised agents of bin Laden’s strategy and how he targeted his victims. We were told to adopt the same to popularise our insurance policies," an agent present in the meeting said.
The creative initiative proved costly as five company employees were marched off to jail on Wednesday. They were arrested immediately after the issue snowballed into a major controversy in Kanpur and saffron parties staged a protest in front of the insurance company office.
On Wednesday, the additional chief metropolitan magistrate-1, Kanpur Nagar, rejected the bail application of the employees arrested on charges of sedition.
Posted by Sid at 08:40 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
July 20, 2005
Replacing "Failed" with "Deferred Success" in Schools
I am sure this will be applied to their performance appraisals as well .
THE word "fail" should be banned from use in British classrooms and replaced with the phrase "deferred success" to avoid demoralising pupils, a group of teachers has proposed.I hope they do not proclaim that they are preparing kids for the jobs of tomorrow. It would seem they are now preparing them for the jobs of the day after tomorrow at the earliest. More here.Members of the Professional Association of Teachers (PAT) argue that telling pupils they have failed can put them off learning for life.
A spokesman for the group said it wanted to avoid labelling children.
"We recognise that children do not necessarily achieve success first time," he said.
"But I recognise that we can't just strike a word from the dictionary," he said.
The PAT said it would debate the proposal at a conference next week.
[Hat tip: Uncle Ron]
Wizbang Carnival of Trackbacks XXI
Posted by Sid at 12:30 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
July 19, 2005
Harry Potter Destroys Rain Forest
To hell with the rainforest. It was destroyed for a worthy cause.
The latest installment in the best-selling Harry Potter series, "Harry Potter and the Half-blood Prince," has destroyed one of the most precious rainforests in the world, all of whose trees were felled to create the paper for the 652-page book.More here.Even as librarians and educators praised the latest "Potter" book for stirring children's enthusiasm about reading, ecologists howled in protest over the book's destruction of the Dihing-Patkai rainforest in Tinsukia, India.
Clear-cutting of the Dihing-Patkai rainforest began last fall to prepare for the publication of the much-anticipated "Potter" tome, virtually eliminating the natural habitat for such bird species as the Great Hornbill and the Lesser Beautiful Nuthatch.
"I suppose we are supposed to be overjoyed that J.K. Rowling has brought forth yet another delightful installment of the Harry Potter saga," said Cassandra Spivak of the ecological group the Sierra Club. "Tell that to the Lesser Beautiful Nuthatch."
Ms. Spivak, who claimed that "The Half-Blood Prince" may have irrevocably increased the threat of global warming, also criticized the 652-page length of the book, saying that much of author Rowling's verbiage was unnecessary: "The word 'Quidditch' alone appears over nine thousand times."
While bemoaning the destruction of the Dihing-Patkai rainforest, Ms. Spivak said that the Sierra Club was "pulling out all the stops" to keep similar ecological atrocities from occurring in the future: "We are doing everything in our power to keep Bill Clinton from writing another book."
Posted by Sid at 11:07 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
July 15, 2005
Man Dies Having Sex with Horse
What could I possibly add to this.
King County sheriff's detectives are investigating the owners of an Enumclaw-area farm after a Seattle man died from injuries sustained while having sex with a horse boarded on the property.Investigators first learned of the farm after the man died at Enumclaw Community Hospital July 2. The county Medical Examiner's Office ruled that the death was accidental and the result of having sex with a horse.
Posted by Sid at 05:50 PM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
July 03, 2005
How Far Would You Go For $10,000
Personally I think "IDIOT.COM" would have presented more truth in advertizing.
Kari Smith sits Wednesday with her 11-year-old son, Brady, at a tattoo parlor in Salt Lake City after "GOLDENPALACE.COM'' was tattooed on her forehead. Smith advertised the space on her forehead on eBay, which the Golden Palace casino purchased for $10,000. Smith plans to use the money to send her son to private school.
Posted by Sid at 12:05 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
June 18, 2005
GREETING CARDS FOR ADULTERY
In an effort to make sure no one is left out you can now get greeting cards for that special someone who is not your wife or husband.
Browse the aisles of any stationery store and you'll find cards for your spouse, children, parents, siblings and even your pet.Soon, you could also find cards for your mistress or the other man in your life, thanks to a new line of greeting cards designed especially to express the feelings intrinsic to extramarital affairs.
For example, a holiday card begins with, "As we each celebrate with our families, I will be thinking of you."
She expects her cards to be successful because they express the intense emotions that flare up between couples in affairs without being judgmental.I can only image we will next have cards encouraging failed suicides to try harder next time because you only fail when you give up on your dreams. More here."People who are involved in affairs are not bad people," she said. "A lot of people meet the right person at the wrong time."
Posted by Sid at 12:06 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
June 15, 2005
BARE ALL INTERVIEW
Akbar, 35, left the interview room and came back in to speak to his female victim naked and clutching a clipboard.When the job candidate refused to strip as well, he put his clothes on and attempted to continue the interview as normal, the court was told.
The father-of-one, from Dunfermline had pleaded guilty to committing a breach of the peace.
He initially told police his strip was a consensual "role play" as part of his "tough interviewing technique".There is absolutely nothing I could possible add. The rest here.
Posted by Sid at 12:05 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
June 12, 2005
Portland Officials teach addicts how to shoot up
First it was clean needles. Now its comprehensive junkie training.
Health officials in Portland, Ore., are taking the unusual step of offering the city's heroin addicts advice on how to shoot up safely after a string of overdose deaths.How about DON'T DO DRUGS!!Multnomah County health officials sent a memo to various methadone clinics, detoxification facilities and other organizations in the area, telling people who work there of advice they should give to addicts.
Among the tips in the memo was: "Fix with a friend. If someone goes down, call 911. Any information you can give paramedics about the situation can help save a life, specifically what drugs a person has taken."Now if we adopt the Canadian health care system and the recent practice of providing addicts with free heroin. The United States could take the lead in providing drugs, needles, training and free fast track medical care to junkies all over the nation.Other tips included in the memo were: "Take control of your own drug preparation and intake," and "Do a tester shot — some batches are stronger than others."
Since we already have seen seminars on better prostitution I guess the next item will be gun safety training for convenience store robbers.
Posted by Sid at 12:15 AM | Comments (1) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
June 11, 2005
Pizza man beats out mailman
How does the postal saying go? “Neither rain, nor sleet nor snow nor dark of night shall stay this courier from his appointed rounds." Well they have noting on this pizza delivery guy.
A robbery attempt by a masked man and a gunshot wound to the leg didn't stop a pizza delivery man from making his four scheduled stops.Thomas Stefanelli, 37, said dedication to his job at Hungry Howie's Pizza kept him on the job after a struggle with a robber Saturday night left him bleeding from a bullet hole in his left thigh.
Posted by Sid at 09:49 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
June 10, 2005
Soylent Green is Pringles?
Anyone who remembers the storyline from Soylent Green will never forget the end where Charlton Heston yells "Soylent green is people". Well it turns out that actually Pringles are people I guess based on this story.
When relatives of Vivian Shulman Lieberman went to visit her final resting place in a Houston mausoleum one year ago today, they discovered that the cedar chest containing her ashes was missing.I Know it is totally insensitive of me to find this kind of funny. But I guess we will just have to chalk it up to a serious character flaw on my part.In its place, behind the locked, glass door of Lieberman's niche in Congregation Beth Israel's mausoleum, was a can of sour-cream-and-onion potato chips.
Posted by Sid at 07:22 PM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
June 08, 2005
Mother of the year
Thurmont, Md. (AP) - Thurmont woman is being charged three counts of reckless endangerment for driving with three children in the closed trunk of her car.Though I have to admit, as a parent it has crossed my mind once or twice. More here.
Posted by Sid at 12:30 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
You know border control is bad when..
You see this on the side of the road.
Posted by Sid at 12:15 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up
Cop pulls over his stolen car
CHARLESTON, S.C. (AP) -- An off-duty police officer on a Sunday drive saw something awfully familiar - his recently stolen Volkswagen Jetta.More here.North Charleston patrolman Ethan Bernardi whipped his cruiser around and pulled over the stolen vehicle. He called other deputies, who arrested three suspects, police said.
Posted by Sid at 12:10 AM | Comments (0) | Too Crazy to be Made Up