August 03, 2005
New UK Police Training to Include House Cleaning and Home Repair
Concern over Muslim reaction to the recent crackdowns on suicide bombers in the UK has led many departments to add etiquette, patience, house cleaning and home & car repair training to the standard police training regimen. Currently police in the UK are required to remove their shoes before raids.
Leaked guidelines from the Bedfordshire force say that when officers raid Muslim homes they should remove their shoes, not use dogs and not mount pre-dawn raids because at that hour people might by 'spiritually busy'.New additions to this policy soon to be implemented are restrictions on bursting into bathrooms while the suspect is indisposed. Police are to knock on the door politely and wait outside patiently until suspects complete their business including flushing, zipping and hand washing. If the suspect forgets the police are also required to put the lid down.
Additionally police officials will be required to wash the dishes, take out the trash, wash the cloths and handle any small home repairs that may be discovered while collecting evidence. As an added service they will search the garage for vehicles needing oil changes or tire inflation.
Officials hope this will offset any negative community reaction to police raids and may even encourage neighbors to turn each other in.
Posted by Sid at August 3, 2005 12:38 AM | Satire
